When you go out with the main goal of trying to meet someone, you also tend to put less thought into what type of bar you're going to. You just go wherever there seems to be a lot of cute women or hot guys.
As such, you're more likely to end up somewhere that isn't really to your taste. You can also be less choosy about who you go out with. So you can end up doing things like hanging out with guys whose company you don't totally enjoy just because you want a wingman. Another thing is that if you go out with a real 'Must. You can start to see everything you do as work and a means to an end.
You evaluate how well your night went in terms of whether you met anyone, not how much fun you had - if you had no luck, then your night sucked. If someone's comfortable with their love life it's nothing for them to go to a bar and just enjoy the music and company and have a good night. If you're single and feeling desperate, things like dancing, music, and being with friends can seem more pointless.
Of course it's easier said than done to just have fun in the moment and not care about meeting someone, if getting into a relationship is important to you.
Another reason some people don't like clubbing as much as they could is that they don't do everything they can to ensure they have a good time at them. Again, I'm not saying everyone has to force themselves like clubbing. These are just things that can make them more enjoyable:. When people are new to clubbing they have a tendency to go to sprawling, flashy, stereotypically club-like clubs because they don't know what else is out there.
For some people that scene is for them and they don't move on, but others eventually shift to more subdued, smaller-scale venues. Picking the right place to go can make a huge difference in how much fun you have. Take the time to look around and find a place with a good vibe, music you like, and a friendly crowd. If you're into punk rock and that whole subculture, there's no reason you need to be at some hot spot full of lasers and thumping techno.
Avoid the places that are annoying. If you think a spot sucks there's no reason you have to show up there, unless your friends all want to go, and even then you can make your case for heading somewhere else. You usually have more fun at things when you're good at them. This applies to the usual activities clubbing entails. Dancing can feel mortifying if you're not good at it, but quite fun once you've got some basic moves down.
The idea of being "good" at joking around and hanging out and having fun is more abstract, but the same concept applies. Being able to meet and chat to strangers is another skill. Like I said in the last point, clubs are demoralizing if you want to meet people but can't, but once you know how a whole new world opens up. A similar idea to being good at bar and club activities is being able to appreciate certain elements of the places.
Like if you don't know much about music, it's nothing to care about. But once you learn about some artists and develop your tastes, then you can start to like that aspect of going to bars. Bars can be pretty boring if you go with the wrong people. Things to look for are friends who have the same basic goal in mind as you not you want to take it easy and have a few drinks, they want to dance all night , people who won't get drunk and distracted and ditch you, and people who are generally fun company.
I'm Chris Macleod. I've been writing about social skills for fifteen years. I was shy, awkward, and lonely until my mid-twenties and created this site to be the kind of guide I wish I'd had at the time.
I'm trained as a counselor. There's a lot you can do to improve your social skills on your own - I wouldn't have made this site if I thought otherwise.
Though I'm also a therapist and can offer in-depth, personalized help. I'm currently working with clients who live in Ontario, Canada:. Improving Your Overall Personality. Most will end up touching you — some will literally step on your toes with their spiky heels.
Touchstone Pictures. The WB. Imagine toilets that are only ever used by drunk people in semi-darkness. You pay to go into a place where you can't even pee freely. Universal Pictures. Columbia Pictures Corporation. Hudlin Brothers. One in every seven songs is one you like. If you are in a straight club, there will be that one silent weird man probably wearing a polo shirt and brown shoes who tries it on with each of your friends in quick succession. One of your group of friends will be nominated as the person who shoos unwanted advances away.
The lights turn on and everyone looks and acts like drunk toddlers wandering incapacitated towards the door. You are almost crying with relief when you sit in the taxi. You had a drunken 3 in 1 beforehand which was a mistake as you will find out tomorrow. You remember that you bought new pairs of fluffy socks in Penneys yesterday and spend the journey fantasising about your impending cosiness.
It feels like you are on a boat, and you forgot to bring up a glass of water. The couches have people making out on them or, other things , the bar is always crowded with people trying to buy more drinks and the bathrooms are covered in puke.
People just sweat and sweat and sweat — all over you. Girls take forever to use the bathroom — especially when they need to unzip, undress and untie everything.
0コメント